The Fall of a Priestess
by Healo of Ultima
Summary: ONESHOT: Kikyo muses over the sadness of her fate as she endures the fires of Hell.


Hello everyone! I know that this story wasn't mentioned on my bio, but I got the idea to write it while I was at work and just had to start it. Don't worry, those of you who are reading A Family Affair, this is just a short one-shot. I just felt like I needed to write something about Kikyo, whom I sometimes hate and at other times love. It's weird because I used to think of her in extremely negative terms, but she does have a very sad story. Still, I like Kagome much better because she doesn't seem to let things get her down quite as easily, but Kikyo definitely has the better music. Sorry if this seems kind of random and if the writing isn't very good. Please let me know what you think. Review!!!

SUMMARY: In the final moments after "Inuyasha's" betrayal the once serene priestess gives in to her feelings of despair and hatred. This helps to cause her death and ultimate punishment as she endures the flames of Hell for fifty years. As she carries out what she believes to be her eternal judgment she is constantly faced with the specter of her past.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the other characters.

THE FALL OF A PRIESTESS

How could one describe the pain or the agony? Flames that burn, but do not ever consume you. They never completely overtake you, but you feel their presence. To always see your mistakes, but to never be allowed to experience a moment of happiness. Trapped forever in darkness and heat, but no light only the continual burning; not to mention the mental torture of lost possibilities. It was this that caused the most pain to the fallen priestess; one of the few of her kind to descend to such a level.

Kikyo. She who had once been the greatest living priestess had given in to her anger and her own desire for revenge…and she had to pay the price. Those who are given greater powers and skills are also more responsible for how they use them. There was no greater charge in the world than that of the Shikon no Tama, the sacred jewel. The unhappy priestess had been charged to protect the jewel because of her amazing sacred powers. However, that wasn't what she had wanted.

Why hadn't the people understood? She didn't mind helping people with their injuries; in fact, that was the part of her job that she enjoyed the most. However, she had never wanted to be a priestess, she had never wanted to live such a lonely life, and she had certainly never wanted a life of constant panic as she tried to protect the sacred jewel. The only thing Kikyo had ever truly wanted throughout her life was to be normal, and to be able to be free from the oppressive responsibility of the sacred jewel. However, she was never tempted to use the jewel herself; she understood the dangers of such an act.

The Shikon no Tama was seductive; it did not naturally want good or evil it merely existed, but the hearts of humans, and especially demons, were corrupt and would taint the jewel. It was ironic that the priestess who had been entrusted with the jewel's care had allowed her despair and loneliness to taint the jewel to a lesser degree. However, her eyes did not detect this effect because of her own sadness. Then a small point of light entered her life and changed it, for good or evil, in a way that no one else ever could.

Inuyasha. Even now the thought of her once precious hanyou burned her. She had truly loved him, and she had assumed that he loved her. When she had first met him pity stayed her hand, and he had not been slain by her sacred arrow. Many times over the course of her torture the fallen miko wished that she had not been so tender hearted. That she had allowed herself to end the mysterious hanyou's life. However, at first everything seemed to be well; Inuyasha stopped trying to take the jewel from her, and even promised to become human to be with her. Kikyo had thought she had found the perfect opportunity. The jewel would be purified and disappear; then she could live a normal life.

However, instead of letting go of his own desires Inuyasha had betrayed her. In her darkest thoughts the fallen miko could remember the exact moment when she realized who had wounded her so deeply. The feeling of shock and dark anger that had so invigorated her; it allowed her to stand, but by acting through it she had ensured her sentence in this dark abyss. How she hated the jewel! Inuyasha! Her own fate! Where was the justice in this? She had fought so hard and suffered a lonely life for so long only to be condemned to this fiery chasm.

How could Inuyasha have done this to her? Had everything he had told her been a lie? Was it all just some ploy to get the sacred jewel so that he could become a full demon? There was no other conclusion that the priestess could find. The hanyou had coldly led her along with his promise of eternal love and with the hope of finally being free from the Shikon no Tama. Then on the day when her hopes were brightest he smashed them to pieces. Not only was she denied love and freedom, but she was badly wounded and doomed to die as well.

However, what was far worse was the contempt he had shown her. Inuyasha had thought so little of her that he merely wounded her then left; he was a fool not to have killed her. Still, Kikyo couldn't help, but wonder if the hanyou had purposely wounded her in a way so that she would know who had killed her. Perhaps he actually had wanted her to allow herself to feel anger and revenge so that she would be condemned to the fires of Hell. It was just one more bitter feeling that she had had to sort through, but there was no feeling of completion or peace. How could there be? Inuyasha had promised to protect her, but he had cynically killed her instead. How could she have been expected to react any differently? How could she have been expected to show calm forgiveness towards her murderer?

That was why she found herself forever trapped in this excruciating abyss. True she had given in to her anger, but wasn't it only natural for her to do so? Just because she was a priestess did that mean that she should not have been allowed to make any mistakes? Inuyasha certainly did play a part in her fall, but again it was only natural that he, as a hanyou, would have understood the necessity of his betrayal. Kikyo could not forgive him, but a small part of her, sadly, understood him. No it was not any of their faults it was all destiny working against her. The same destiny that had condemned her to guard the jewel in life had condemned her to pain and misery in death.

Hey. So I definetly feel like I am rambling in this oneshot, but maybe you all can let me know what you think? If anyone who is reading A Family Affair is reading this I apologize so much for not getting the chapter up yesterday, but I'm going to try to start finishing it up tonight. Again let me know what you think. Review!!!


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